Because why wouldn’t we need another blog about a Mom discussing her kids? right!
I heard the most hilarious thing the other day, just another typical “our” toddlers are fighting kind of night. We had just gotten home from daycare while 3 year old boy plays with a toy chainsaw sitting on the couch. 15 month old daughter decides she wants to run her finger along the moving rubber chain. Brother begins to get upset and attempts to smash sister across the head with the 5 pound toy. I gasped and became immediately upset. I should probably mention that at the daycare my children attend i have often been told they’ve been having aggresive days more and more often. But i was not mad that a 3 year old boy was having an aggressive moment, It was Dad’s reaction while i told his son that you use your words and you do not use violence. Dad yells at me “My son does NOT have to share.”
Introduction..
Now would be where I let you know a little about my life, I met my spouse when his son was only six months old, I have been with the sweet little boy for the last two and a half years. I have been with my spouse for two and a half years and i had our daughter about 15 months ago. My son has an older sister from his mother who is six. Poor boy, surrounded by women.
Since having my first child i have always told Dad that i refuse to parent them like one is not biological to me, but that i want to parent them based by their age. I refuse to parent them based on their gender, because when my daughter became mobile Dad seemed to always be expecting me to punish my under one baby which made me upset. We were having difficulties having a son heading into toddler troubles, and also becoming a big brother. My children have rules big ones small ones, and they are not punished by any means of abuse. But our three year old has never been on a time out and now i catch Dad telling me my 15 month old needs to start time outs!
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I guess my question is… to the step parents out there, have you ever felt that your spouse treated their first child better because they seen them less? I would like to say i would never do that, that i would spoil my daughter silly each time she returned from time with her father but i would never do that. To teach my child that because she goes between homes that when shes with me there are NO rules. I believe i would be setting my child up for disaster.
Last night, kids were being their regular selves. One jumping on the top of the couch and the other playing with the lamp. I had just snuck away for a quick bathroom break and i hear Dad tell Son to stop jumping and then Dad SPANKS daughter for turning the lamp on and off. Needless to say daughter came crying to Mommy. Dad believes Mom has a stronger bond to daughter than son. He could not be more than wrong. To be honest my daughter has a hard life, because she is constantly given trouble for doing the same things as her older role model, but here is the fuckery! I’ve persistently caught Dad punishing daughter and not son when they are doing the EXACT same thing!
Would you ever spank your 15 month old for playing with a lamp? Because no matter the age i do NOT believe a lamp is spank worthy…
Dad has frequently consoled to me that he believes that our daughter is a “pest” to his son. He has often mentioned that he can tell his son (who barely talks and was not talking at the time our daughter was born) never wanted a sister.
Dad has often refused to allow daughter to touch certain toys in the home that were her brothers, WE ARE ONLY HUMAN! The more we are told we are not allowed to touch certain things but see our siblings touch our dolls, plastic food, and read our princess books the more we want to touch their super cool Lightning McQueen car that Daddy forbids us to touch while it gathers dust in the toy box.
pest
pest/
noun
- a destructive insect or other animal that attacks crops, food, livestock, etc.
- informal
- an annoying person or thing; a nuisance.
Is it even proper to ever say your own child is a nuisance in a less harsh word? There has often been times where sister has been trying to show her affection (hugs and kisses) and been literally shoved away from brother by her face! Last night when brother is ready to go back to his Mommy’s Dad told him to kiss his sister Goodbye, sister did not want a kiss and like had happened to her so many times before she finally returned the favour and did the exact same thing to him as he has done to her since she learned to hug and kiss. Brother cries, and cries, and CRIES oh my god. It was like she had clawed his face off. She did not hit him nor hurt him in anyway. She simply backed off and put her arm out and said “No.” And what does Dad say….
“Aren’t you going to punish her?”
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